Great love (and sex) starts with loving ourselves. Recently I had the extreme pleasure of hearing one of my favourite authors, Naomi Wolf speak. She spoke about women and their self esteem from her book, the famous Beauty Myth. I have been shocked to have had a few potential female clients who wanted to get massage but didn't because they were embarrassed about me seeing their bodies. When and more importantly HOW did we get so worried? I've been told by some women that they haven't worn shorts in years, even in extreme heat. How did this happen? Its likely because of the media.
Ms. Wolf describe how TV sponsors have been required to advertise diet companies like Jenny Craig right before a guest on the TV Show appears - if that guest is not close to the Barbie look. So if the guest is heavier, or not as attractive, they will be made to feel more unattractive with the preceding commercials. Ms. Wolf talked about anorexia and how the rates of obesity AND anorexia are both up exponentially and cosmetic surgery became the fastest growing industry. If you'd like to see an extreme case, have a look at the French model in an Italian campaign to bring about awareness here. She told us how the average north american woman would rather lose 15 pounds than achieve any other goal. Women, the most accomplished beautiful creatures, who have achieve more financially, politically and legally in these times than in any other time in history, still worry about how their bodies look in a bikini.
Women in hollywood are quite typically, and historically, blonde, tall, looking no more than 25 years old and weighing at least 20% less than what her height requires. And this is who women hold as their standard. Click here
I think its so funny that the winner of America's Next Top model, a size 10, was a Plus Size Model. There is another Dove video about a boy calling a girl he likes. The caption reads, Amy can name 12 things about herself she finds unattractive, Joey can find one. This is so prevalent in women.
The myth beauty is being skinny, blonde and young but what about thickness, it says beauty is found in youth. Older women can be cover girls too like actors Jamie Lee Curtis, Cybyl Shepard, Oprah, and Isabella Rossellini, all in their 50s and 60s. Some say beauty is the most fair skinned but look at all the colours of beauty.
"True beauty is found within yourself. Beauty is the radiance of truth and the fragrance of goodness. The best of part of beauty is that which no picture can express" - Francis Bacon Sr.
"The kind of beauty I want most is the hard to get kind that comes from within - strength, courage, dignity." - Ruby Dee
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, which means everyone has to create their own definition.
Anorexia statistics are rising. But what strikes me is the little things, clients who worry that I'll judge them for not shaving their legs, or not eating or worrying that their arms are too big for short sleeves.
Even women's magazines at the grocery store takes the stand that we are not good enough; about how to improve everything from your looks to your sex life to how to finally lose those last few stubborn pounds (in only 2 weeks!).
I certainly weigh more now than I did in my younger years and yet, having gone through years of fighting media images and losing 30 pounds due to a health concern, I feel better about myself than I ever have. I went to Hawaii recently and while I was one of those women who for a short time didn't wear shorts, I bought a bikini and walked as those I was Cindy Crawford.
I talk to women who I am quite impressed with and then they reveal how they don't think of themselves as all that great, can't take a compliment and slander themselves at any chance.
